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Subject:OMFG sooo much to say
Time:11:28 am
Current Mood:geekyHarry Potter PoA, enough said

Cut for HP PoA movie spoilers and fangirling, mostly over Draco's buttCollapse )

On other news, I'm not opening up that RPG I was working on before.  Instead I made another one like the link I posted earlier-  it's called Ellengrey Academy for Anthromorphs.  Check it out!

Ellengrey Academy for Anthromorphs  Join!  Join join join!

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Time:12:48 am

Sing a simple lullaby.  Lull the heart that breaks in two, cleaved by me, burned by you.  Leave footrpints melting in wet sand, washing waves that bring mermaids to shore-  they come for me, they come for you.  Toss shells to the homeless, string bracelets from stones, gather every pearl from her bright eyes like diamonds on the wave tips, the frothing foam lips.  Let it go, love.

I'm in a strange mood tonight.  I'm dreading the next few months, I guess, with everything I have to do but can't even bear to think about.  I was really quite happy for the past six or so months, but somehow (I think I know why, really) I'm falling back into depression.  I don't want to be, it's been a long time since I was last like this-  and I enjoyed being content with my life, with everything.  But now I'm feeling the same way I used to, last year and all the years before.  Like facing tommorrow is worse than the darkest scenario, like everything is in grayscale, like any efforts to do anything are futile.  I'm grabbing at things rushing by me, leaving me behind, spitting in my face, and I honestly hate melodrama.  That's why you never hear me wallowing in self-pity, why I never write about the truly bad things in my life, why I never tell people what I'm really feeling, why I never open up.  Because I hate pity, and most of all, I'm scared no one will care.  I just don't get it.  Why am I becoming depressed again?  I can name a few things that might have triggered it, but still-  I'm lucky.  I have so many things to be grateful for.  I should never feel this way.  Why do I, then?  I can chnage things if I want to-  why don't I try?  Because there's a catch-22:  I want to, but I've lost all motivation, and every effort feels in vain;  therefore when I want to take charge of my life and change things, I fall back in hesitation with the sinking feeling that I'll never acomplish what I want to.

Maybe I haven't really been 'happy' for the past six months or so.  Maybe I've been unconsciously supressing all my feelings, and they're only now manifesting themselves.  This just sucks.  Maybe if I could get my hands on some Prozac, haha...

I'll drop that horrible subject now, before I make my 'aura' even worse.  I think I'll instead entertain you lot with another art dump.  He's my new character in the RPG, his name is Thenty (short for Thentavius) and he's an ickle little catboy, horny as hell.  Go on, pet him.  Thenty-catCollapse )

I know I went a little crazy with the background.  But hell, I couldn't decide!

One last bit of news before I go pop twenty pills and hope everything is brighter and happier in the morning after I finish puking them back up:  YISNA (that comic that strangely enough, went on hiatus six months ago) is back up.  I added a few more strips, obviously rushed as I was lacking the real drive to do them, and made a pretty layout.  At least, I thought it was pretty.   Now I've just kinda been reminded how much I hate tables.

YISNA.  Go read, I beg of you.

((Edit)): Well, fuck. Server's down, *I* can't even get the site up in a browser window. Oh well. I'll let you people know when it's running again. XP

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Subject:elasticity in chicken nuggets is never a good thing.
Time:07:41 pm

Not much to update about.  Should be freaking out over finals, but failing too.  Oh, yeah-  the RPG is really running now, we're getting new members and everything.  I love Nymnova and Finn, but damn did I miss Logan.  I never realized how much until lately.

I'm a bit late with this-  a TeniPuri crack!pairing drabble-  but I'm posting it and pretending I finished it on time.  So, here ya go, Mandy, my first drabble.  (damn but you're ahead of me!)

Cut for a TeniPuri drabble, Fuji x Marui, ''Crisis''Collapse )

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Current Music:Ode to a Psychopath
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Subject:second time tonight, oh roll my record baby, swallow the fucking dice!
Time:10:47 pm
Current Mood:happyhappy

More writing.  This time, it's CARDCAPTORS YAOI!  Gasp!

What can I say?  All it takes is one good fanart or fanfic, and I go hurtling right back down into the Hell that is Toya / Yuki of Cardcaptor Sakura.  This fanfic written for the new challenge at Temps Mort and cross-posted there.

Among the DunesCollapse )

I luff those boys.  And I got to see them in the new CLAMP manga, Tsubasa!  Even if it was only a teeny-weeny part, and even then they STILL acted gay!  *flails and dies*

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Current Music:Propellerheads - Velvet Pants
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Subject:Eee! More Finn / Logan smut!
Time:08:43 pm
Current Mood:bouncybouncy

Okay, so I lied again.  Not smut!  But maybe I hope for it to be.  Uh.  Later on.

More Finn / Logan boyonboy love.. ooh! Shower!Collapse )

That was inspired by gildedmuse's little snippet thingy.  (That had the middle cut out of it... >_>;;)  Her's is here.</span>

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Current Music:Belle and Sebastian - "If You're Feeling Sinister"
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Subject:I go to bed unmarred, I wake up covered in bruises. What happens when I sleep?
Time:11:49 pm
Current Mood:sleepysleepy

Velvet pants.  A mass of roaring people, screaming, slashing, fluxuating.  Streetlamps shed light warbled by cigarette smoke.  I am blinded, my heart hurts.  The number 69?  Why, yes, thank you, and fuck him too.

Damn the Propellerheads.

She laughs as she sprays the kerosene.  Pressurized contents explode forward, and using her thumb, she half-caps the mouth and ejects it all over us.  We flounder and freak and laugh along, then someone lights a match and we drown in fumes and fire.  Roaring, again, why won't it stop?  Round and round in my head as the flesh crackles and burns.  Skin blisters and pops and curls like wood chips in the soot.  I watch you morph into an unrecognizable shape.  I laugh.  Pouring from my mouth like poison wine at a funeral, the laughter won't stop, now it's hysteria, on and on and on, I feel like screaming but everything is  JUST.  SO.  AMUSING.

I like to think of death this way.  A fucking blast.  Don't we need something to look forward to?  (She was into S&M and bible studies, not everyone's cup of tea.)  Freefalling and looking down, the grounds runs up to meet our outstretched arms- our lips part like a nasty gash and red, we pucker, we kiss, the Georgia clay.  Does anyone like it here?  Now meeting earth, we plummit in, beneath the plants and rock and gravel-  hello coffins, hello corpses, would you like to dance a day, six feet under, beneath the clay?  Let's go excavating, discover fossils in sandstone and limestone, bullets from the civil war, mummies cursed and dinosaurs fallen where they lay-  sounds like fun.  I'll ride your back and you can ride mine, we'll do it all night long, 69.

If I had to speak in patterns, paisley would be my choice.  No one could follow what I would fuckin say.

what i want to do to him...Collapse )

Of such morbid thoughts and an obsession with body fluid malfunctions, I can safely say I am weirder than you all.

Am giving my two weeks notice at work tommorrow.  No more Hell for me.  I've fucking had enough, and I'm tired of waiting around to find and searching and searching and searching to find another job-  I'm out of there.  For good.

One of life's great mysteries:  Why do blonds have dark public hair?

I don't think we're meant to know.  Kind of like what Steph said:  Why do straight girls like slash?  These things will never be answered.

One last thing.  Art dump, 'cause I'm craving GetBackers but won't have time to watch it until Thursday.

GetBackers - Kazuki of the ThreadsCollapse )

I think he turned out pretty damn cute.  Next mission:  Juubei x Kazuki PURE SMUT.  Eheheh.

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Subject:hot damn.
Time:03:46 pm

I love these results!  I did Lucius and Snape!  I shall bear evil babies!  *is happy*  [Ganked from hopper_ho.]</span>

Your Years at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
Name
Age
House
Family Line
Dated Lucius Malfoy
You are well known for Managing to shag Snape.
Percentage of student body you shagged - 85%
How do the staff and students feel about you Ahhh!! I want to have your babies!!
This QuickKwiz by lady_ameily - Taken 35981 Times. </a></font>

 

My art is in the yearbook.  -_-;  Not only that, but it is H00j, and it is poorly scanned.  Makes me cry.  I don't even LIKE that particular drawing.  Why can't they ASK you about these things first?  Fuckers.

Hey, I'm excited about this weekend!  Taking the SAT, looking forward to it believe it or not, not nervous at all, and am wanting to see what I get the first time around.  ^_^  Then, after that, I'm going to see a horror movie with my movie-gang, Tiff and Steph.  I'm so happy!  I'm staying at their house overnight too, 'cause I don't have to work Saturday at all, the first time EVER that I'm not scheduled.  This is a miracle, my friends, take note.

The only thing that is shadowing my good mood this weekend is the knowledge that I have a math test Monday, and am, alas, still failing that class.  All A's but for math... it's so pathetic.  Not to mention that the moving plans are final... I really hope I don't have to transfer schools, but it looks like I'll be going to Roswell High.  I don't want to leave my senior year, but there's nothing I can do about it.  Stupid Novartis.

Ah!  Abbey emailed me!  (<-- still not over this)  *dies*

And who's Danny?  The skinny kid in a blue shirt at Spring Fling today?  He was cute but I've never even seen him before.  >_>;  So I was too shy to talk to him.

Oooh!  It looks like the plan for the trip to Japan is still on.  A year from now, as a graduation present, my mother will take me there.  I'm hoping she let's me bring a friend or two, if they pay and all.  I'm so excited!  It's gonna be awesome... Tokyo... Kyoto... Nagasaki... a few shrines... the mounatins.... the inner city and prefecture...  Japanese theatre... I want to do it all.  Total cultural submersion!  ^o^  Not to mention, shop for anime... *^_^*

Man, I'm gonna miss all the seniors graduating this year.  Most of my good friends (hell, my two BEST friends) are graduating and going far, far away... okay, so 2-3 hours worth away.... but still!  I thought I was over it but I realized today as I signed their yearbooks that I'm not.  At least I'm not the crying type.  That would suck.  Anyway, I just hope they all have fun in college and DON'T LOSE TOUCH!

Ah...  I have to go to work.  Signing off.

[add @ 4:26 p.m.]

Go into your LJ’s archives.
Find your 23rd post (or closest to).
Find the fifth sentence (or closest to).
Post the text of the sentence in your lj along with these instructions.

"Well, thar you go, maties."

...... Okay. That was. Fun.
Ganked from Chaco, whose journal I am too lazy to link.

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Subject:Logan!
Time:08:02 pm

In celebration!  XD

So, gildedmuse finally opened the RPG back up.  Okay, so it's different from New Salem... but it has (basically) the same theme!  And she hasn't put it up on the internet yet... but still!

IT'S COMING BACK!

Maybe I'm too freaking happy.  That would be Abbey's fault.  She emailed me (lovehersososomuch <3) and we agreed to bring Logan and Finn back, ages 19 or 20, as if fresh out of Salem, newly graduated and all.  AND they will hopefully get past the denial / silent longing stage.  OMFG*dies*  That would make my life.

So, in honor of this joyous occasion, I doodled a Logan.  Only sakurada_miwako, </span>sushikat,</span> gildedmuse and *maybe* hopper_ho know who he is, but I'm vomiting this art up here anyway.  LOGAN!  SqueeXdiesagain.

this boy will be the death of me..Collapse )

I don't like how it turned out, mostly the face, but I don't care.  I'm just so damn happy.

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Current Music:Muse. Good new band.
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Subject:Whining and an Art Dump.
Time:07:34 pm
Current Mood:creativecreative

Oh, tear.  My computer died.  Completely.  It has passed on to another world.

Along with six years' worth of original writing and art, the originals of which no longer exist on any type of physical plane.

*lays down on train tracks*  I hear the choo-choo coming.  KILL ME.

So yeah, today hasn't been the best.  Although I was in a strange mood the entire time, unusually happy and bouncy, scaring my friends and fellow students.  The boy who sits in front of me in math has long, pretty hair.  I braided it without permission.  I think from the way he has shaking, he wanted to stab me with his pencil but was putting up great resistance.

STEPHANIE:  FINISH THE DAMN RPG, WOMAN.  FINN IS CRAVING LOGAN'S ASS AND CAN ONLY STAND SO MANY MORE KLEENEX NIGHTS.

Current Events:

-Watching Getbackers, up to Eppie 29.  Is it wrong to ship Akabane / Ginji and Ginji / Akabane?  Is that going against some golden Ban-Ginji rule?
-Watching Naruto, up to eppie.... uh, well, watching Sasuke's prelim exam.  DAMNIT I WANT MORE FOX.  I wanna skip to the part where I'v heard Naruto's fox-demon comes out again.  Badly.  But will stay strong... even thought Sasuke is really grating on my fuckin nerves.  Although Orochimaru is hot.  Oliver agreed with me on that.  XD
-Prince of Tennis:  GUH.  God save the raws... 128.  RIKKAIDAI!  ;_;  Such a sorry obsession.
-Want to see Gundam Seed (yes yes I know), Peacemaker Kurogane, and Full Metal Alchemist BAD.  Especially the last one-  OMFG.  FMA PLEASE NOW YESSS.  Anyone wanna bum me those?  Ehh..  Mandy?  *poke poke, sparkles*  I'll love you forever Mandy... T_T
-Hey!  Failing math!  67.

Woo!  I'm getting a domain.  Haven't registered it yet, but will probably be www.ghostcage.net.  Wonder what I will put there.  Other than gay porn.  >_>U

Ah!  Attack of bad art!  (Doodles, muchly, I was bored.)

Niou Masaharu, scarfy.Collapse )

And a girl with pink hair. Like there aren't enough of those in the world..Collapse )

Spent a lot of money today...  prediction:  I will be broke again soon.  JUST WATCH!  I'M FREAKIN PSYCHIC!

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Current Music:The ring of the phone I'm waiting for, but won't hear.
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Subject:gimme gimme mess you up, messing with your head.
Time:05:37 pm
Current Mood:lonelylonely

Soooo tired.  Exhausted.  Dreading work tommorrow.  Dreading life tommorrow.  Looking out window at strange children running through my yard, into the creek, splashing wetting yelling tripping, who the fuck are they, this is private property.  A cat, a two-year-old lump, laying next to me.  Not yet cold, not yet breathless, not like Nutmeg, who died one year ago yesterday.  Still remember her-  cold, breathless.

Hybernation-  that's where I've been.  A waking sleep tossed between textbook and sketchbook, finding rest only in the monotonous folds of History essays.  Hmm, listening.  Listening to my home, hearing Oliver in the livingroom singing, such torture!-- and of voices laughing, telling dirty jokes and sullying the white carpet with filthy words.

Today I made two people cry.

I miss New Salem.  Work on that damn RPG, Stephanie.  I'm going slowly insane.  (FinnLoganFinnLoganFinnLogan you stole my MIND, and I curse you all for it.)  Reading old diary entries and I CRINGE, the old me lies dead in a shallow grave, but haunting still the bookshelf and the kitchen, it won't leave me be.  Revenge must be taken, old flames brutually stubbed.  I hated everything back then.  A time of elightenment followed.  And I still hate everything now.

But that's insignificant.  The Universe continues to remind me:  I am young.

I saw her today, in the clinic:  before she pulled the curtain about her bed.  A white hospital gown, falling from a wraith-like frame, a red, puckering, blistering disease spreading up the shoulderblades, which jutted out like severed wings.  Her face was pink in shame and pain.  She was not pretty, she was not old.  Her flesh was the color of milk, but the pattern of death was a mottled, knarled crimson.  Such an ugly color, crimson.  I think I prefer terra-cotta and verdigris.  Earth tones, you see.

[The room was dimly lit, and the window cracked open, just enough to let in fireflies.  Their footsteps were soaked up by the carpet, swallowed by the walls, making them seem stealthy.  The bed was unmade, but neither noticed, nor cared.

"Hurry."  His breath was low, gritty, and his hands hot.  One button popped;  two, three.  Four.

"It's stuck."  Another pair of fingers groping for loop-holes, reddened by scratching denim.  "Fuck."

"Forget it."  The words were clipped as the shove was panicked.  They fell to the bed, like in some trite pornography, but this time with more hyperventilating.  The unmade bed was mussed further, the creaking spinal groans swallowed again by grateful carpet.

Bang, bang, bang.]

Driving to work the other day, I spotted something moving in the road ahead.  I thought it might be a bag, or piece of trash.  As I got closer, I strained to see-  and right before I passed it, I got a good look.  A squirrel, with both of it's hind legs crushed, was struggling vainly to pull itself by it's claws across the asphalt.  Half of its body had been brutually mangled and mauled by the wheels of the car before me.  I felt sad, but drove on-  such is the way humans take life for granted.  We don't care, we don't care, until it's us, or someone we love.  At that moment, however, I wanted to care, but couldn't-  the wretched creature was pulling itself across the road towards the median, not the grass.  The stupid hardly ever survive.

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